The beret trend has turned me into a hat person

I’ve never been a hat person. At least not a hat person in the way Stevie Nicks is a hat person and Diane Keaton is a hat person and ERYKAH BADU is a freakin’ hat person. But this winter I’ve found my hat love in the beret. Seriously, you’ll find me donning it in every Instagram picture I’ve taken over the past few weeks…slightly embarrassing.

There’s something incredible classic and chic about the beret, and there truly is nothing the French can get wrong when it comes to style, non?

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Glossier: Everything you need from this mega-hyped brand

glossier you fragrance

I’m hard-pressed to find anyone in the known universe who hasn’t heard of Glossier. The brain child of the former Hills wunderkind, Emily Weiss (Intern Emily was iconic, IMO) alongside her epic beauty blog-turned-industry Bible, Into The Gloss — it’s safe to Glossier is the beauty brand of the millennial generation. This ain’t no Estée Lauder, people.

If there’s one thing I love, it’s a bandwagon. The journalist in me has been desperate to know what all the fuss is about.glossier london pop-up

I watched enviously from afar when it launched back in 2014 (how has it only been three years?) because back then they were solely USA-based, I had my mom mail FedEx me their products from home…I was pretty desperate.

Cut to present day, and they’re shipping to Canada with a Montreal-based office and have expanded shipping to the U.K. and will be shipping to France next year. Talk about growth in the age of the internet, eh?

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One year later

This past Sunday, my husband and I celebrated our one-year anniversary! A full year after three together sounds like nothing, but a lot can happen in a year. We’ve run the gamut of obstacles for newlyweds. Losing a job, death, illness, flat problems…and with the stress and anxiety that comes from all of those externals, I can honestly say our relationship grew stronger.

Throughout the hardship, there’s been so much love and support. We’ve seen in each other a fair bit of flaws, but marriage has been a comfort to me.

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Five ways I’m going to stop myself from comparing and despairing

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I have to be honest with you, I’ve gotten into a bit of a bad habit of comparison.

I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by incredible friends and family who are successful in their fields, live in stunning apartments or own beautiful homes, and have gorgeous babies. And every bit of me is happy for them! Like I said, they are incredible people who deserve every bit of success in their lives. But I cannot help but compare myself and my life to theirs.

What if I’m not good enough?

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The coat you absolutely need in your wardrobe

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This coat is going to get me through the bitter cold of London now that winter’s arrived. I woke up on Sunday morning and could finally feel the chill in the air. Thankfully, I spotted this babe on ASOS over the weekend and immediately snapped it up (Seriously though, what was life before ASOS Premier? I can’t even remember).

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A velvet goldmine

marks and spencer velvet dress

Velvet has always been a Marmite texture, but when it comes to autumn/winter I love it. I bought this Marks and Spencer dress during the Christmas sales last year, but it’s out and having another moment now that the weather is getting colder.

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Move over, millennial pink! Give me Gen-Z red

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Millennial pink has had its moment all spring/summer, but thankfully autumn is paving the way for red! When I saw this 80s blazer with a bit of military running through it, it was love. Now that this beauty’s joined the team, I can’t wait to get even more blazers into my wardrobe. I’ve been eyeing up this olive green number from H&M* and this corduroy brown* one as well. Better start saving!

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The M&S Edit: Six must-have pieces for summer

As I approach my 30s I am falling hard for Marks & Spencer clothing.

When I was a teenager and my family and I used to visit family in the UK, I thought that M&S was only good for buying underwear, socks, and sweets (And it still is!). But I was ever so wrong.

A few days ago, it was reported that M&S clothing sales are in decline, and I guess with competition from fast-fashion brands like Primark and H&M (although their prices seem to be going up) it must be hard to keep up. But M&S clothing is a bargain to me, considering how well made it is.

Below I’ve curated a few incredible summer pieces that are relatively new on site and in stores! I’ve already bought one of them as well…

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Coming to terms with disordered eating

mental health eating disorders.jpgPhoto by Jennifer Burke

 

(TW: weight, weight loss, food, disordered eating and disordered thinking about food)

I’m making an active decision to love myself.

I know that a person’s value in life in no way equates to their size. I know it. But I don’t know that for myself, or practice it, in any way.

I was reading model-turned-chef Lorraine Pascale’s blog post this morning, which inspired me to write this, and this particular quote screamed out to me:

I have picked on myself physically (and mentally)  so much in the past and the result usually is me going to the shops to eat too much of something. Can you relate?

I spend a minute eating it and then the rest of the weekend/week beating myself up for doing so and feeling crappy about my body. And so the cycle continues as the beating-up-of-the-self moves me to again ’emotionally eat’ for that fleeting moment of feeling better.

I have picked on myself mentally and physically for my entire teenage to adult life. Particularly when it comes to my body, or my weight. There have been lulls, there have been binges, there have been “fuck it” moments.

In low points I’ve gone to the grocery store to buy heaps upon heaps of junk food and eat it all in one evening to get rid of it and then “punish” myself at the gym in the days after.

It’s the “picking on myself” that really sticks out to me. The way I have insulted myself, talked down to myself and verbally beat myself up for years is sad.

Food culture now is something that’s inherently good or inherently bad, which makes this disordered thinking and eating even worse. Although the Deliciously Ella and Helmsley and Helmsley “clean eating” and “wellness” phenomenon has taken a real hit, I am constantly making excuses to myself and whoever is around me for eating chocolate, or ice cream, or fries, or pizza or whatever food that I love (seriously, there’s nothing better than those and you can honestly fight me) and for what?

At almost 30-years-old do I have to continue to explain to myself or anyone else why I want a side of fries?

Am I going to continue to pull away every time my husband puts his arm across my waist because I’m embarrassed about my stomach?

Am I going to never wear a bikini again?

Do I have to justify every single food decision I ever make for the rest of my life?

Or can I just accept myself as I am and eat the fucking thing.


So I’m taking steps to start loving my body as it is, right now in this moment. Not thinner, not with an hourglass figure, not if I just lose another five pounds, just…as it is.

1: Stop following all of the Instagram accounts (or people) who make me feel like shit about myself. I read a quote the other day that said, “‘Fitspo’ is ‘thinspo’ in a sports bra.” And it is! Nothing wrong with staying motivated, and in the right mental state then those accounts can be incredibly motivating to stay active and get some vegetables in you. But when all I do is feel like shit about myself for not living up to those standards then they have got to go.

2: Being ‘unhealthy’ doesn’t mean that I am undeserving of love and respect. Being an unhealthy person doesn’t mean that I am worthless or less valuable.

3: I am grateful that I am alive in this moment and am able to live in a city that I love with the person that I love, surrounded by people I love. My body allows me to move through the world with my person, travel, explore and even exercise, as much as I dislike it.

4: I am going to acknowledge that the way I speak to myself  about food or about myself and the way that I look is significant. I’m not going to eat fruits and veggies all day every day, I’m not going to exercise every day. Other people are, and that’s okay.

5: How I look isn’t everything. Seriously! It’s not. It’s going to take likely years to unpack this, but knowing that is important.


Check out some incredible charities doing work for eating disorders:

BEAT (UK)
NEDA (USA)
SEED (UK)

And some incredible body positive women that I follow:

Grace Victory
Steph Yeboah
Callie Thorpe
Kenzie Brenna
Ruby Tandoh
Megan Jayne Crabbe aka Body Posi Panda
Do The Hotpants

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There is no perfect feminist

badass feminists.jpgThere is no perfect feminist.

I feel like a lot of the time the message gets lost amongst the celebrity bashing and the message that we have to support all women in their endeavours because they are women (i.e., the Lenas, the Amys, the Emmas, the Taylors).

Overall, I advocate for women’s rights and equality, including civil rights, disabled rights and immigrant rights and trans rights. Our feminism MUST be intersectional. There is still so much work to be done. I’m still learning. We all are.

My friend Nicole made this really great point today which has inspired me to right this, because we weren’t all woke when we were born. I certainly wasn’t. There’s a lot I’ve had to learn about myself and my history to make me the feminist I am today.

This stems from the idea of learning and being able to think critically about the world. Being able to look around and say, “Who’s not in the room?”

This piece in Cosmopolitan unpacks this idea of learning from critique and learning from thinking critically. None of us are above criticism and have to constantly be aware of our privilege.

Emma Watson was once again put under fire for having the audacity to have her tits out on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine while speaking about feminism. As an aside, I do struggle with a lot of what Watson has said and done in the past in regards to feminism, but while junketing for Beauty and the Beast, I found her quote particularly eloquent:

Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women with. It’s about freedom, it’s about liberation, it’s about equality.

Too right.

Then she was massively called out for criticising Beyonce a few years earlier in an interview with Tavi Gevinson for the exact same thing.

Above all, from them, the most important thing I’ve ever learned is that I matter.

I am important, my thoughts are important, my feelings are important and valid and can be shared.

And yeah, I can be fucking dramatic and shrill and loud and take up as much fucking space as as I want to.

 

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